At loose ends

It was another whirlwind weekend, mostly work-related in nature, and this morning the Emperor of the Garage took off for a five day workshop in his field of employment. Again, I am left to my own devices and maybe it's a good thing today; as my mother used to say, I'm "too pooped to pop."

The Ombre Hombre heel has been turned and the foot is underway. Pellew's Pelisse still languishes in the basket. I've been hauling the French Market Bag to and from work without working a single stitch for a couple of weeks.

Meanwhile, the newly cast-on kitty tam is coming along okay. It looks like a small, misshapen bag but I know that blocking will get the lumps out. I got Butch a bright red breakaway collar to match. I can't wait to see the ensemble en chat.

A few years ago, a series of hilarious haiku poetry made its way around the internet. I dug it up again to show to a friend the other day and I'll put it here for your amuseument. I didn't write it, and it came without attribution. Whoever wrote this clever piece, I salute you.

Cat Haiku
(author unknown)

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere...
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper'?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?